Lack a Purpose...

I feel unsteady, and confused. What is happening? It's been the last few days that I just feel that I have no reason to do things.

I have been feeling alone, with no there to support me, my ideas, my words. They go along unheard and unfelt. Because simply people do not give me the time of day to listen.

Everyone around me has someone to focus on, someone in which they can rely on. I myself lack that right now. And for those friends who lack someone themselves, I attempt to remain there for them.

I feel annoyed. I can not even begin to say why, but I just feel like everyone, everything and every moment is just being annoying. It's the places I visit and the emotions of people that case me to feel angry, sad, annoyed.

I lack a purpose. I am lacking a reason to do what I do, I lack someone to share my success in and I lack successes.

I am in search of someone and a reason to continue to be happy for. I need some excitement in my life; I need something to keep me busy and give me joy.

You have no reason.

What's wrong today? Oh did everything go perfect? great.
Then what is wrong?
exactly nothing; because you have no reason to bitch.

deal with it.

It's just a phase...

I attempt to convince myself that in reality it is just: a phase.

A phase in which I have no control and I have no meaning of controlling and in reality have no authority to even begin to question its means, meanings and explanations.

In reality I think we all surpass a phase in which everything in our lives plays out to be a drama, everything seems to be the end of the world; when in reality it is nothing more than a simple problem that can be handle as easily as deciding over two choices.

I believe, that this is exactly what is happening with those individuals who are closest to me, those who I call my friends and family and although in no means do I say this is a bad thing; I believe it is a phase in which in ruining my day.

I am sick of hearing negativity, although I am negative. I am tired of anger and pouting, although I am angry. I am done with the flights, the arguments and the disagreements, although I myself participate in them. I want everyone in my utopia to be happy to get along and just to be "friends and family"

It is a phase, in which I am a participant, a supporter and a representative. Although I don't want to question it, I feel as though I need to question my participation in it. Why am I going through a phase? What has cased me this anger and these raging thoughts? I am unable to explain this, but I don't stop searching for an explanation; someone to tell me that this is normal, and that it all will be done by tomorrow. But when reality hits, a timeline is not an option and an answer still remains unclear.